Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Sunday, November 10, 2013

John Doe

I work in the a local hospital where I live and every so often we get a patient that we know nothing about. They are brought in unconscious, with no I.D. In the medical profession when we don't know anything about a patient we call them John Doe or Jane Doe. It tells everyone that comes in contact with that particular patient that we know nothing about this person. It is somewhat disheartening to hear a person described that way.

What if you you don't know who you were? Put yourself in the other person's shoes for a minute. No one knows anything about you. You are nameless. All anyone knows is what they see in front of them.

This begs the question, aren't we all just a John or Jane Doe? When you look at me all you see is what I want you to see. If you're lucky I will take you a little deeper into my small world, but most people aren't that lucky. We are not faceless or nameless, but we are unknown unless we want to be known.

A few years ago my wife and I were living a perfect little life in a two bedroom, rundown old duplex. We had been married only two or three years, but we were happy. Well, at least one of us was happy. Oh, I was very happy to be married and I loved my wife, but I was hiding. I had been hiding for more than 10 years.

When I was 12 years old I was introduced to pornography. From the first time I saw it I was hooked. I simply couldn't break its hold on me. No one knew. I never let anyone into that part of my life.

One day in the fall of 2008 I couldn't hold it inside anymore. I had to let my secret out to the one person it was hurting the most and she didn't even know it. One day after my wife got home from work I told her my struggle with porn. My wife was deeply hurt by my confession, but I was the one that did most of the crying that day.

There was a relief that I had never experienced before and such emotion I had never let myself feel before. My wife simply held me while I sat and cried for what seemed like hours. She told me she loved me and that she would help me in anyway she could.

On that fall day in 2008 I became known by one person in this world. To be known is to let all your crap be seen. To my wife I was no longer a John Doe, I was Aaron her husband. She now knew the real me.

To let someone truly know who you are is so scary. I had overwhelming fear before I opened up to my wife. But, before I opened up to her I opened up first to someone else. In fact, I couldn't help it. He already knew who I truly was.

Jesus Christ, the one person who allows us to truly know Him through his book, the bible, already knows who we really are. How can He know what we are hiding? Because He created us. He knows everything about us.

When you feel like there is no one who knows your name, no one who knows who you are; you can trust that Jesus Christ know your name and he knows your every weakness and deepest darkest secret. There is nothing you tell Him that He has never heard or seen before. In the bible Jesus was routinely seen talking with prostitutes, money launderers, and murders. Do you get it? He knew exactly who He was with.

Went you figure out that you are known by just one person it makes it much easier to open up to another person, and another.

To be known is to be truly loved. Your no longer just loved for what you are on the outside, but you are loved in spite of what is on the inside.

'And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said,“Why do you think evil in your hearts?” (Matthew 9:2-9 ESV)


Saturday, November 2, 2013

Remedy

“Here we are. Here we are. The Broken and used, mistreated, abused. Here we are.” -David Crowder Band

We are all broken in some way. We are all taken advantage of at some point in our lives. No one is immune. We try to hide the person we really are so that no one has to see who we really are. Diseased. Ugly. Hateful. Judgmental. Perverted. Drunk. Slut. Racist. Fool. Scarred. Scared. Helpless.

These are just a few of the things we think we are in our minds, in our private, closed in, walled off mind. We think we are worthless and sick.

The quote above is from one of my favorite songs. It speaks about the human condition.

Music has been a huge part of my life especially for the last ten years. I bought my first guitar when I was only fourteen years old. It was a bass guitar and it was cheap. In all I spent $150 on that first guitar. Fast forward ten years and I had spent well over $2500 on instruments. I love stringed instruments so I bought an electric guitar. I then purchased an acoustic guitar, and then a drum set, and then another drum set. I love making music.

Since the age of nineteen I have been a part of a worship band in some way. For ten years I worked to become a worship leader, the leader of the band if you will. The funny thing is, I always thought that if I pushed just a little bit harder, worked just a little bit longer, all my private problems would disappear. The only problem was, it didn't work.

I had a messed up view of grace. I thought that if I became who I thought God wanted me to be that I would be happy. This thinking only drove me deep into depression because I couldn't make it to where I thought God wanted me to be.

When a person has an addiction to something whether it is heroin, alcohol, or something that seems more innocent like food, tobacco, or porn; they become a liar. All addicts lie. They lie to hide their addiction and the shame they feel. They lie because they are an addict and they can't do anything in their own power to break that addiction. We can only break the addiction when we realize that we can't do it on our own and that we need help.

“Oh I can't comprehend, I can't take it all in. I'll never understand such perfect love come for the broken and beat, the wounded, and weak. Come fall at His feet. He's the remedy, He's the remedy...” -David Crowder Band

There is only one remedy for the human condition. There is only one cure for the addictions that hold a person prisoner. It's not a medication, hypnosis, or chant. No amount of self effort can treat the condition of the human heart. The only cure for the human condition is the One who created the human.

“For God so loved the world (us) that He sent His one and only son (to earth), that who so ever believes in Him (the Son) will be saved.” (John 3:16 NIV emphasis added)


Listen to Remedy by the David Crowder Band